Lucky

I'm not entirely convinced anyone still reads these but, if you are here, thank you and welcome.

If you've read any of my previous rammel, you will know that I started blogging in early 2025 as a way to help me process an incredibly challenging time in my life. On the back of some devastating losses, I received a sudden and completely unexpected diagnosis of Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia. While enduring my third round of chemotherapy, I lost my Mum.  

My first blog, Letter to Cyril, was an experiment in catharsis, written largely while I was an in patient on a Haematology Ward. I hoped it might inspire anyone going through a turbulent time. Although I talk a lot about loss, I also repeatedly return to the themes of finding meaning in suffering and having gratitude for what you have.  

I followed this up with a shorter blog, After Cyril, which talks about the beginnings of recovery from the perspective of someone who has battled cancer twice and is impatient to pick up where he left off.  

Going forward, I'll be writing about my passion for the outdoors, running, the journey back to full fitness and how the trials and tribulations of the past few years have given me a new perspective in life.  I hope the handful of people who stumble across my ramblings get something from them!

It's been nearly 6 months since my last round of chemo and life is marching back towards some semblance of normality. Through consistency and sheer bloody mindedness, I've managed to get back to a reasonable level of fitness and I'm continuing to improve. The impact on my physical wellbeing has been huge, the positive effects on my mental health have been immeasurable. I've fallen back in love with the meditative, mindful, dopamine inducing process of putting one foot in front of the other. I'm 5 races in and have at least another 4 planned before the end of the year. 

Over the last couple months, I've also returned to work and started to train jiu-jitsu again. Things that, when I was ill, I thought might not be possible have become reality. I've started to believe I can be stronger than I was before. Most importantly, I've had quality time with my family, friends and loved ones. To my Daughter, who is the centre of my Universe, it is as though nothing ever happened and my incapacitation is becoming a distant memory.  For these reasons, I consider myself an incredibly lucky man.

"Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it." - Eckhart Tolle.